Feels like the very first time...

I haven't blogged in a very long time...I keep threatening to- and then life gets in the way...when I blogged before, I believed I had a mission...a purpose... I don't know that I believe that anymore... I don't know that I need either anymore...I find myself questioning why we all live the way that we do...I don't know what it is about our culture that compels us to believe in what we believe...cling to the tribes that we do...resist change with every fiber of our beings- left and right... here's a poorly kept secret- change happens constantly...change happens whether you want it to or not- whether you like it or not...systemic changes only happen on a big scale when we stop doing things the 'way we've always done them'... I have become less tolerant of certain behaviors over the years...less tolerant of the people who exhibit them...I don't think I want to change that...it certainly impacts my life because I don't want those people regularly in my life...it's a personal choice of mine- whether they're family or 'friends' or colleagues or acquaintences... When I first started blogging, I researched and cited and linked and proved...every post that had a point...from left sources, right sources, 'neutral' sources...and I found that it simply didn't matter...didn't matter...I wasn't going to be able to educate or change minds- let alone hearts...and I found that to be true left and right... I backed away from blogging because I found it didn't really make a difference...whether I was attempting to educate folks or posting for peace in Iraq...digital solidarity didn't make a difference... digital petitions didn't make a difference...emailing my '(s)elected representatives' didn't make a difference- on a local, state or federal letter...so- I left the two party system...I cut ties with conservatives in droves...shortly after...I cut ties with liberals... In my mind, liberals are worse than conservatives...they are abusers too but they are more insidious about it...conservatives will beat you senseless and let you die bleeding on the side of the road...liberals will pretend to care and then gaslight you into believing you're the problem...two wings of the same bird... and here I am...I am older, orphaned and a whole lot more cynical, if possible, than in 2006 when I started my first blog...but I am still on Life's Journey for sure...